When I first identified that I had a problem with anxiety it was triggered by an event. I was scheduled to give a business presentation about technology. I had given several speeches of this kind in the past and was never comfortable, however, I never had a panic attack during a presentation. As soon as I began speaking I had levels of anxiety it seemed that I had never experienced before. It was so intense that after the first minute I had to leave the room. The audience consisted of co-workers. These were all people that I knew and I was the technology expert. I had nothing to fear really. But, when my heart rate started pounding at the rate it was my breathing pattern was affected and it was next to impossible to continue. I only left the room for a minute or so and when I returned I completed my speech from a desk. There seemed to be a difference between standing at the podium and sitting at at a desk mixed in with the crowd.
I gave plenty of speeches in College. I took 2 extra speech classes that I didn’t even have to take just because I liked it. Yet, here I was having a panic attack. After this happened I knew it was an anxiety attack. The strange thing was, from that day forward I began a daily battle with anxiety. I started having panic attacks every day at work. It was as if a switch was flipped in my brain and now I had a problem with anxiety.
I have often thought about panic attacks being triggered by a phobia. As if, once the phobia is confronted the anxiety would be addressed as well. I have faced this phobia of public speaking a few times since this happened. The last time was two weeks ago. I had to give the same type of technology speech, in the same room, to the same group of people. However, this time I had a co-worker assist by adding his bit to the presentation. Also, I sat down at a computer rather than stood at the podium. Right up to the speech I was a nervous wreck. I often felt as if I wanted to escape the room and the situation. My fear was anxiety itself. I knew how overpowering a panic attack can be.
The good news is that once I began speaking all my nerves were clam and I had no problem delivering this speech. All the thoughts of panic, doubt, and anticipation were simply distortions of something that wasn’t true. It wasn’t true that I was going to have such anxiety that I couldn’t speak. Or that I was incapable in any way.
So, it seems much of anxiety is simply fearing things that aren’t true. Ok, so it’s true I have had many panic attacks in the past and just one of them is enough to scare the hell out of anyone who would experience such a thing. There is a fear that an episode like that will happen in these situations. But, it simply didn’t happen this time which means it was a fear of something that didn’t exist. Understanding and addressing distortions that cause anxiety can be key to overcoming panic attacks. To avoid anxiety requires us to change the way we think and one way to do this is to:
- Identify the distorted thoughts.
- Change the way you think in regards to these distortions
- Take action by facing these situations (thus helping to change the way you think)
